one month is all it took

day one it was all new, just living in that special moment

day two, three, four, five, six, seven it was learning, living, getting to know what "us" was

day eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen it was combining, laughing, and most of all falling in love

day fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty one, twenty two it was loving endlessly

day twenty three, twenty four, twenty five, twenty six, twenty seven, twenty eight, twenty nine it was cherishing 

day thirty it was wishing, wishing it would never end because what youve found is someone you never want to let go of, someone you cant even describe how much love you have for them, after a month, nothing could be more perfect<3

JAM

i believe you only fall in love once in your life,

your heart can endlessly love, but only fall in love once.

my heart choose him, i didnt plan it, i didnt expect it. 

but i think thats what makes it so amazing,

because i fell in love with him, after he fell in love with me.

i fell in love knowing he was gonna be there.

i love him with all my heart, and nothing could ever change that<3

im alone

theres something you should know, 

theres something i cant see,

something tearing me apart, 

and theres nothing you can say,

to make it all okay.

please just dont walk away,

dont leave me hanging,

all alone in this misery,

i need you now.

forever and always.

welcome home,

is it bad 

that hes the only thing i still wish for? 

that, that only thing i want his for him to say he loves me, everything was worth it, 

and that someday, it will be always and forever.

rants

id give up anything, just to get a goodnight text,

just to fall asleep knowing youd be thinking of me.

ive never met anyone who so completely controls me like you do,

its as if you own my emotions, my actions, my life.

id do just about anything for you.

sometimes i wish we lived closer, just so i could be with you when i felt like everything else was falling through.

i dont think ill ever be happy unless you love me.

your words

"sometimes i wonder if your the only girl who will care about me"

i think to myself...is it really that bad? is it that bad that im that girl that cares about you?

are you not satisfyed with the care i give you?

are you never going to love me the way you use to?

is anything ever going to the be same, am i ever going to be happy again?

you need to understand//.

your always here to point out my mistakes,

maybe for once you should just be here to make smile.

random

im giving up everything, everything for you

mistake or bad choice?

either way its gonna happen

your the only person whos ever built me up 5 times bigger than i was,

but then torn me down 10 times worse.

i can have a million reasons to hate you,

but my heart only needs one good one to love you.

sometimes im dissapointed in myself, sometimes i lose my track in life, but in the end at least ill always know who i was on the inside.

im never gonna be the solution to your problem, so i dont really know why i try.

all about you

you lie to cause people the pain your feeling, i lie so you dont have to feel the pain id be dealing out.

i can think of a million reasons,

you cant even think of one,

that tells me your a fake, a fraud,

nothing worth fighting for.

i wait everyday for teh day you realize you do need me,

but thats the day i wont be there anymore.

i love you, but i hate myself for it.

all the bad you do makes me not want to miss you.

when i think of you

when i think of you,

i think of sunshine on a cloudy day, smiles on a sad face, and happy memories all around the place.

when i think of you,

i think of rain pouring every day, frowns that never go away, and memories you cant erase.

i realized...

what bugs me the most...

the fact that im never gonna be the solution to your problem.

i am the variation

sometimes i worry

sometimes i panic

i can get quite frantic

of what this horrible disaster might be

what would i do

what would i say

to try and explain?

ill be another tally

added to a reoccuring statistic

just another dissapointment

the days will change 

my life will turn upside down

and completely around

will i tell him?

will i tell them?

who can i trust

with something so unjust

people will stare 

some will even glare

all i know is i said yes

and now this is my test

i need to prove

prove that im not stereotype

not just another one

another failed mistake

im human 

and my judgement sometimes fails

and my decisions might be wrong

but now im here

so just give me a chance

give me a chance to prove to you

i can be the one to succeed

when everything points down

when life is going to fail

i can be the differnce

the one to do it all

conquer and dominate

i can make it all better

because thats the last choice

the last resort

even when ive got no support

i will be the variation

oh darling,

you need me now more than ever, 

does it scare you knowing im not gonna be there?

or does it scare me how i might secretly need you just as much,

if not more.

I...

I fell so hard for someone who doesnt even know how to fall at all.

I fell so deep for someone who doesnt even know how deep it goes.

I fell so fast for someone who doesnt even know how to make it last.

Now all ive got to do is try and move on from the past.

I loved someone so much that they just gave it all away.

I loved someone too much that they just threw it all away.

Now all ive got to do is try and see the good in today.

I missed them a lot so they just told me to go away.

I missed them not enough so they just walked away.

Now all ive got to do is try and figure out what to say.

But i dont have anything left to explain...

getting things off my chest;

i hate how people can just forgot everything youve had, everything youve been through, the moments youve had, the progress and happiness, like everything, all that! just fucking forget it, and treat you like crap and try and push you away because "theyre afraid" oh they dont say they are, but thats what they are. because i know it, and im not fooled, but im not gonna stand and be happy about being treated like crap because your afraid to be with someone, be happy and have someone whos there for you and WANTS to be with you, like really just get over it, because youd rather just hurt me, and watch me fall and explode in sorrow and remorse. well its not gonna happen. because im not gonna talk to you, im not gonna waste my time on someone who doesnt give me the time of day, doesnt talk to me with the respect and sweetness i deserve. really, just grow up and stop being such a damn baby and treat me how you really do want to, how you use to. okay asshole? UGH!

lets change time for a moment...

How is it that one person can make the biggest impact on your life? like, ive been thinking a lot lately, and if you take one person, and the entire history ( everything youve ever done or decided because of this person ) out of your life, how drastically it would change, just because the things you did when you hungout, or the decisions youve made because you were friends with that person, or because you met someone. Like, i dont think thats very fair, how one decision, one person...can have that much change on your life. Iv'e been thinking a lot about this lately, because i was wondering how my life would be, how i would be as a person ( meaner, nicer, happier, sadder..ect ) if i took any one person or experience out of my life. It's funny how you can think about that, and wonder, all the senerios and life changing moments, well being different. Wouldn't it just be amazing if you could take people in and out of your life and see how youd be? see which life youd rather be living? But i guess, everything happens for a reason, everyone has an impact on your life because you choose it to be that way. I guess it'll just give me more insight on the decisions i make, and the people i let into my life. Even though you can never change whats happened, its funny to think what it would be like if you could.

if only you knew,

you run through my mind every day; every night.

drowning in a river of denial

you were dead,

now your alive?

i was completely destroyed,

but it was all a lie?

thanks to you, ill never be able to trust anyone,

ever again.

but i cant help but want to talk to you more,

get back to where we were before.

<3P.C.C.

i just want you to know,

baby your the sun,

you keep burning me,

time after time.

all that you ever said,

more and more lies.

you cant keep your promies,

and you cant keep me.

i just want you to know,

want you to know,

i still always think about you,

i think about you so.

youve hurt me more then words can describe,

more then there is to say.

ive cried more times,

then i should have to.

ive loved you endlessly,

you stopped caring.

i want to move on,

but your like stuck to me.

i just want you to know,

want you to know,

i care for you,

i care for you so.

your like air,

i need you.

im like a sickness to you,

you just want me gone.

you keep bringing the pain back,

i just want it to not hurt anymore.

every word you said,

made me more in love.

but what i didnt know...

was it was all pretend.

i just want you to know,

want you to know,

i miss you,

i miss you so.

i always will,

it wont ever end.

but ive noticed,

me and you,

wont happen again.

im saying goodbye,

because thats all thats left to do.

be happy baby,

even though it means nothing to you.

i just want you to know,
want you to know,

i love you,

i love you so.

im done

trying to find some to replace you,

because 

really

your 

just

irreplaceable.